Kathy Davenport Image Design

Success Coach, Motivational Speaker, Fine Art Photographer

" You have to do the work on the inside in order to enjoy the view on the outside."

Choose in Favor of You

I wrote an article a few weeks ago about choosing to stay away from drama. This post is a bit of a follow-on to that, because although you may choose to walk away from the drama, sometimes the drama doesn't want you to walk away!!!!

In my case, the person who called me to start the drama must've then called and reported back to YYY. The next day YYY texted me about the drama, and said she was going to call me.

In a nutshell, I wound up call and text-blocking both the person who started the drama and YYY. I also removed them as Facebook friends and blocked them. For my sanity and peace of mind, I no longer needed these people to have access to me.

The lesson here? If you want to have more peace and happiness in your life, you have to start removing the things that no longer serve you. This can be physical clutter, mental clutter, negative emotional attachments, toxic people, and so on. Just know that some of these people/things are going to want to hang on like a suckerfish. Your job is to remove them.

And the best way to decide if something/someone can stay or needs to go is to always choose in favor of you. Trust your instincts and learn to stand up for yourself. Don't choose in favor of what someone else wants you to do. And don't try to choose because you want something to happen for someone else. Choose for you.

Cheering for you!

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Managing the Head-Talk

A HUGE part of managing your life is managing your head-talk. You gotta get good at this if you want things to change for you.

Today the voices were conspiring to throw me off my workout routine. You see, I’ve got a serious goal to drop some extra pounds that have crept on and to just be more fit overall. I see my doctor again in June and my goal is to be better by then.

I try to start each day with a quick workout. I either go to the gym or I drive to the nearby resort and walk along the beach lagoons. Since I knew the fresh air would do me some good after a tough day yesterday, I decided to go to the beach.

Here’s when the head-talk started in.

“It’s starting to rain, you’ll get wet if you go walk at the lagoons.”

“The sidewalks will be wet and slippery and you might fall.”

As a note, I’m really afraid of slipping on wet pavement because I have feet, ankle, and knee issues from torn ligaments, sprains, etc. over the years.

So I decided to go to the gym. Then those negative thoughts started creeping in again:

“You’re starting late, it’s going to be crowded by the time you get there.”

“You’ve got a lot of work to do, you should just skip your workout.”

I made my way into my car and was headed to the gym. But I really needed/wanted the fresh air, so I took the cutoff to the beach instead, despite the rain clouds in the distance.

Started walking. Rain clouds had moved on and the sidewalks were dry. Then the sprinklers started.

Something was definitely conspiring to stop me from working out today!

Then something clicked. Two people ran by me on the grass. I realized that I didn’t have to walk on the wet, slippery sidewalks. I could walk on the grass!!

Why I’ve never thought of this before I don’t know. But it made me realize that if you have a goal, you have a choice in whether or not--and how--you’re going to achieve that goal:

1) You can let circumstances stop you
2) You can find another way

I had a most marvelous walk and my head was cleared and I felt great! Bottom line:

If you want something bad enough, you’ll get resourceful and find a way. If you want to find an excuse, you’ll find that, too.

So get real with what's stopping you, what's holding you back. Kick those voices to the curb and move forward! You're worth it!!!

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Focus on Foresight

Isn’t it amazing how we can look back on something and clearly see where we messed up? Or at least where we “think” we messed up?

Or think about the last time you had a disagreement with someone. I’ll bet you can recall almost exactly what was said.

Or think about a great disappointment you had. You can probably recall every detail leading up to what happened.

Stop right now and think of something unpleasant that happened to you within the last two weeks….

Now think of something very pleasant that happened to you.

How long did it take you to recall the unpleasant episode? How much time did you need to think of something happy that happened?

Was there a difference in how much time it took you to think of something?

The reason we can recall hurtful things so much more quickly and clearly is because the negative emotions involved with these events are usually very strong. They tend to stick in the front of your thoughts. So unfortunately, they’re easier to recall.

But now imagine if you could see and plan ahead with just as much clarity and emotion. How much better do you think you would be if you could switch that past negative energy to a positive outlook? What if you could channel that energy as easily as flipping a switch?

Another reason we tend to focus so much on the past is because we’re taught to “Learn from your mistakes.” Fine. But what I've found is that constantly reviewing your mistakes tends to keep you stuck in the past. What you need to do instead is “Focus on the future.” Look forward. You can’t change the past. But you can create and shape your future based on the actions you choose to take TODAY.

So resolve today to start focusing on your future. Take one action every single day to change from what didn’t work to trying something new. Get clear on what you want. Then go out and go after it!

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